Society loves perfection and if you're not looking perfect it can be easy to feel like an outcast.
This page contains all things being human from the good, the difficult and the funny.
You need people who can make you laugh and keep things light
While I was in the ambulance on route to the hospital lights and sirens blaring, in the hospital bed listening to the tones and voices of the doctors, at rehab with my elderly mates, at home with my family who often do not take things too seriously and we all end up laughing at each other, to our animals who keep us entertained with behaving inapproapriately with visitors, I could find anything funny.
Paramedic: [holding up his index finger] what's this?
Me: finger
Paramedic: what's another name for it?
Me: phalange
Eldest daughter: [riding in the front seat] mum, can you be serious please?
Me: what?
Paramedic: is there another name for it?
Me: haha what? [ aphasia had set in, I had no idea, I just thought it was funny]
In hospital I was identifying the doctors with characters on TV or animated kids shows so I called them by these names. So inappropriate but my husband and I thought it was just too funny how the resemblance to their look or accent was to the character, so dubbed they were. Resilience and coping in stressful life experiences can be achieved through humour, helping other people and positive self talk, the doctors didn't mind a bit.
The nurses were brilliant too, most of them had an excellent sense of humour and if not I found their phopas funny.
Humour is crucial for the success of neuroplasticity and rehabilitation
Don't let the behaviours of a few ruin your recovery path to a bright future regardless of whether you are fully functioning or not.
"You look so normal so everything is over then?"
Not everyone is going to say the things you need to hear, some will say things that will be hurtful, ignorant and just downright obvious but most people do not say these things to deliberately make you feel upset.
Some friends, family, sporting club members, church goers, work colleagues and others in social circles want to say things that will hopefully aid in your recovery yet the delivery may come accross as anything but helpful. These types of deliveries can make the effort to go out, back into work, school, uni, social gatherings etc worse and can inadvertantly create a setback. So why is it so important to steer clear of negativity, passive agressive reactions and comedic puns at the recoverers expense?
Communication styles can be helpful in understanding why people behave the way they do.
All you need is love - but - choose wisely - If in doubt get out.
For me personally I've already had experience in navagating re-entering society after trauma. I have experienced its diversity in how people reacted to me after a devastating life event. But there are skills that I learnt that I used again in my own stroke rehabilitation that may help to make re-entering life so much easier for you. It has taken me many unfortunate lessons to create this list but if it means someone else benefits then I'm good with it.
3. You have permission to talk to one person at a time
4. You can leave whenever you want
5. Use your gut, if something doesn't feel right you can walk away
6. Set boundaries - give yourself a timelimit, even if it is 10 minutes and or time of day - you are in charge
7. Being polite for the sake of it and listening to someone else go on and on is not okay
8. If someone is making what you are going through about them, just say thank you, excuse yourself and go
- earplugs
- tinted glasses
- stand near the exit
- dress to suit your sensory needs
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